I want to sleep with my mother. I know there would be no way for me to seduce her, to trick her into thinking I am Dad, there’s no way she would sleep with me because I am her son, unless, I play to her weakness. My mom is a care taker, a protector, and if I let on that I need the sex or else my heart could stop, then she would give it up to me. I know you’re thinking this is a far shot, but hear me out. It all started when I was in the school’s auditorium as these doctors where there giving a speech about the importance of sleep. They were there because a lot of over-achievers were taking ritalin to stay awake to get scholarship-worthy grades. One of the side effects of taking this drug was sleep walking. My buddy raised his hand in the middle of the presentation and asked, “I heard if you wake a sleep walker, they’ll d.1e?” I scoffed at how dumb my friend is until the doctor mentioned, “there is some truth to that, but please, questions after the presentation.” I didn’t hear a word of the presentation after that, all I could do was fantasize about doing whatever the hell I wanted to my Mom, just “pretend sleep walking.” She couldn’t wake me, she loves me so much, she’s so anal retentive about my health and stuff. I pick up some pamphlets at the end of the speech. I lay them out in the open in my bedroom, and presto! Mom starts asking me if I have a sleep problem.

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